Principle: Self 1 and Self 2

Imagine two men. Let's call them John and Paul. John:

- Runs around like a bull in a china shop.

- Is always angry, always yelling or snapping at someone, always flying off the handle.

- Lives for tomorrow. Tomorrow he'll get to retire. Or find a romantic partner. Or go hunting. Or or or. But when tomorrow comes, he is still unhappy.

- Leaves a trail of burned bridges.

- Generally reminds those close to him of a child throwing a tantrum.

By contrast, Paul:

- Conducts himself with calm, rock-solid groundedness. He is bulletproof.

- Is the kind of man you would follow into Hell and back.

- Is fully present in the moment. In the moment, he finds peace and he finds joy.

- Seems to naturally earn the respect and love of those around him.

- Is, in every sense of the word, a grown-up and not a child.

At the heart of the difference between John and Paul is something that we at The Undaunted Man refer to as Self 1 and Self 2.

What is Self 1 and Self 2?

There is a divide within the heart of every human. A fundamental duality. This duality explains most of why humans act the way we do. It explains why John and Paul act so differently. Understanding this duality is essential to cultivating The Good Life.

Every spiritual tradition that has stood the test of time recognizes this duality, though they call it by different names. For Ekhart Tolle, it is the ego and the Spirit. For Christians, it is the flesh and the Spirit (see Galatians 5). For Timothy Gallwey, in his landmark book The Inner Game of Tennis, it is Self 1 and Self 2. For Buddhism, it is the "hungry ghost"—driven by intense emotional needs in an animalistic way, always hungry and never satiated.

Each tradition has different names for the two parts inside of us, but they all agree on the essence of what constitutes these two parts.

Part 1 is the "not-self" as Tolle calls the ego. It is the part of you that is separate and outside of your connection to the lifeblood of the universe and to every other life form on this planet.

 It is the repository of pain, of fear, of loneliness and anxiety and separation. Tolle calls it the "pain-body" because ultimately all of its emotions boil down to pain of one kind or another.

Gallwey calls this Self 1, and notes that it is the part of you that judges, that criticizes, that rationalizes. It is the part of you that does not know the truth, but tries to obfuscate this fact by keeping six thoughts in your head at any one time. It is obsessed with remembering the past and imagining the future. It does not naturally desire to be present and must be trained to be in the present moment.

This part of you insists that you are separate from every other human being on this planet. Tolle calls the ego "a protective heavy shell…This protective shell works like armor to cut you off from other people and the outside world." Sometimes this shell functions by telling you that you are less than other people. Other times it functions by telling you that you are greater than them. But in either case, it is obsessed with comparison. It is obsessed with your reputation, real or perceived, among your peers.

This part of you has a place, but that place must be sharply proscribed. It cannot be killed, and you should not try; because it is essential to interfacing with the world. The proper role for this first part of ourselves is to take orders from the second part of ourselves, thereby serving as an intermediary between Self 2 and the physical world. The ego (or the flesh, the not-self, Self 1, your lower self, etc) makes a wonderful servant and a terrible master.

The second part of you is your connection to the Divine…to the source energy of the universe, however you define that. It is the source of "beauty, love, creativity, joy, [and] inner peace" (Tolle, The Power of Now). For the Apostle Paul, "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23).

Gallwey calls this part of you Self 2. It is the part of you that truly knows how to live. It does not obsess over idealized past or imagined future; instead, it is fully awake to the present moment. It does not ruminate on reputation or on comparisons with others. Instead, it simply directs you to what the moment requires. When it thinks, it does so with clarity and conviction, unfettered by emotional baggage.

True Identity vs False Identity

Another way to think of this fundamental distinction is through identity. Lots of men build their identities around false or external things. They catalog their feelings, political beliefs, habits, interests, body, relationships, career, and bank account; and assume that those are their identity. But all of these things can be taken away. Trying to make them into your identity is like building a house on sand.

When we identify with things that can be taken away from us, we are in Self 1 territory. If Self 1 is the "not-self," then any identity that flows from Self 1 is inherently false.

But if none of those things constitute our identity, then what's left? Our true identity. Your true identity is the identity that you were given when you were knit together in your mother's womb. It is who you are on the deepest level. It is your purpose and your calling and your reason that God (or Spirit, Source, or whatever term you prefer) gave you life.

Your true identity is the essence of your Self 2. It is the one thing that cannot be taken away from you. Even if you lose all of your money and relationships, or break every bone in your body, you will not lose your true identity. It is the purest essence of you.

The Common Thread

Why does every spiritual tradition refer to this fundamental duality by different names and in different ways? All of them are pointing at the same fundamental truth: the nature of consciousness. Consciousness is almost impossible to define. An article in Science Direct calls consciousness an "immeasurable quantity." An article in Quanta Magazine says that consciousness is "one of the mind’s greatest mysteries." The quantum mind is the idea that "local physical laws and interactions from classical mechanics or connections between neurons alone cannot explain consciousness," and that instead consciousness can only be explained by non-classical concepts such as entanglement and superposition.

No matter how you refer to it, the fundamental reality is this: there is more to our life than our conscious mind. As a guided meditation by Sadhguru puts it, "I am not this body. I am not even this mind."

At The Undaunted Man, we use the terminology of Self 1 and Self 2 to describe this phenomenon. The reason we use this terminology is because we are absolutely committed to being path-agnostic. We are a spiritual discipleship program for men; but while we can help you find your way up the mountain, we cannot and will not presume to tell you which path to take. Whatever path you take, we will only and simply help you along it. Self 1 and Self 2 don't have the emotional or spiritual baggage of Flesh, Spirit, Ego, or other terms; they are purely technical and descriptive, which is why we use them.

Why This Distinction Matters

The distinction between Self 1 and Self 2 is so essential that it is at the heart of almost every spiritual tradition. Why?

First, because recognizing this distinction has profound implications for your external outcomes. Self 1 is the part of you that reacts. It is the part of you that burns bridges, that causes meaningless or arbitrary conflict. It is the part of you that gets triggered. To the extent that a man is identified with his Self 1, he leaps haphazardly from job to job and from relationship to relationship, running from his own demons and always convinced that the secret to his happiness lies in better external circumstances.

Self 2 is the part of you that responds. It is calm, it is grounded, and it is bulletproof. To the extent that a man is identified with his Self 2, he moves steadily and consistently towards manifesting his purpose. He is conscious. His relationships and his career reflect his calling.

Your Self 2 also has access to an intelligence that dwarfs anything that Self 1 can possess. Your Self 2 knows all things because it is all things, because it is the lifeblood that formed all things. 

As Tolle says, "Just as the sun is infinitely brighter than a candle flame, there is infinitely more intelligence in Being than in your mind."

Former CIA agent and pastor Jamie Winship offers a talk on the incredible intelligence of Self 2 (what he calls God) and the power of following that intelligence in your own life.

Understanding this duality also dictates your experience of life.

For Sadhguru, your Self 1 "is like your shadow." When you identify with it, you become dependent on outside circumstances for your happiness.

"Once you believe 'I am the shadow', what would you do? You would naturally crawl upon the earth. If you crawl upon the earth, how will life be? If we carpet the floor, you will crawl in comfort, not in joy. Suppose stones and rocks and thorns came? Then you will cry. That is how your life is going on right now. If the outside situation is carpeted, you will crawl in comfort. If little thorns come, you will cry because you are crawling upon the earth."

Contrast this with how Sadhguru describes life when you stop identifying with your ego and live from a place of Self 2.

"If everything in the world is going dead wrong for you, and you can still go through this life untouched, peacefully and joyfully within yourself, then you know life the way it is. Otherwise you are just a slave of the physical."

What We Offer

At The Undaunted Man, our mission is to help men to stop living from Self 1 and start living from Self 2. We help men to observe and disidentify from their Self 1. We help them quiet the noise between their ears so that they can lean in to hear and recognize the still small voice of Self 2. To this end, we offer one-on-one men's coaching as well as group coaching for men. If one or both of those is of interest to you, reach out today.